the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
