redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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