This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
