Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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