So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
