Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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