Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
