Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The Olympian is in my bed
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
