I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
