my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
