Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
