Well apparently he's into motor boating.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
