You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
