You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
