Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
