Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
