PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
