I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
