is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
