it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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