We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
