My nipple is on Facebook.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
