Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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