i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
