Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
