I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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