I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
