You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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