You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
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