it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
