Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
