WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
