so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
