forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
