I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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