Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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