Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
