Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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