i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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