Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just had sex on a roof
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I party with great urgency now.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
