I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
