He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Randomize
