So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
