you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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