i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
