she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
A+ Viking dick
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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