naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
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