Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
