Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
