Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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