An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Randomize
