i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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