Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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