Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
