Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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